Yet another essay dodge…

Yes you did read that right… I am again dodging an essay… But as I’ve said before, writing these things helps me to clear out all the crap that is blocking the creative flow necessary for my college work… So here goes…

So where do I begin? Do I write my review of Star Bores: The Force Struggles To Remain Relevant… Or do I unload all my thoughts on the heinous act of male genital mutilation? It’s a tough choice… I know that you, dear reader, don’t actually care, because let’s face it most of you only read this through familial or “friendial” loyalty…

How about this… I do both… Good idea?

What am I asking you for? This is my blog, and I can write whatever I like, if you don’t want to read it go somewhere else… I won’t be offended… Off you toddle…

Have they gone? OK, so let’s get this started…

So while I’ve been sitting here trying to write my essay the radio has been tuned to a discussion program (alright, I know it’s a bad habit but when you are stuck alone in the house for about ten hours you need other human voices to prevent cabin-fever, at least I do) and the topic for part of the show was in response to this story: father loses circumcision court battle over sons. Now this broadcaster claims to be impartial, not that I’d expect you to believe that considering the amount of pro-government propaganda they produce in their so-called “News Department”, but for the purposes of this particular piece they did at least attempt to be impartial, inviting on two guests to debate whather males should be restricted from receiving a circumcision until they have reached their legal majority. Of course, when I say impartial, one guest was calling for the ban on child male genital mutilation while the other was arguing for it on religious grounds…

Please note… this blog is not intending to detract from the debate about FGM (another act I find abhorrent) but as a man [Nominally. Ed] {yeah, thanks for that} I am talking about my experiences and attitudes, not something I can do from the female perspective…

So, Male Genital Mutilation (and from what I call it you may guess my stance)… For the record, I am one of those men that was mutilated as a child. Indeed, I can actually remember the “discussions” I had with my parents when I was about four or five when the subject of my impending  mutilation was brought up… of course back then I didn’t see it as a mutilation… nor was it ever portrayed as anything other as beneficial to me… But I do remember I was asked to prove to the health visitor that I could “Reveal my Little Man” by pulling back my foreskin… Remember, I was a young child, for me my penis was for peeing through and twanging when I was bored, it’s usefulness as a reproductive or pleasure organ were irrelevant… I remember the nurse and my parents talking in terms of cleanliness and (bizarre as it is thinking back) aesthetics… “Don’t you want to be able to keep it clean?” “Doesn’t it look better without that horrible little bit of flesh getting in the way?” What did I know? I was a child! My parents said it was a good idea to have it done and I wanted to please them… So now I am a middle aged man with a mutilated penis.

I suppose that at the time my future psychological health wasn’t even considered (certainly not by me, at any rate), nor was the possible reduction in sexual gratification… I mean my parents were fairly progressive in their attitude towards child rearing but I doubt that many parents would consider discussing the future sexual activity of their five year old, not with the child anyway… I don’t have kids so this is a subject that will never arise…

I have had this debate a few times over the years and each time the two main arguments for appear to be cleanliness and religious… So let us cover those for a few moments… First, Cleanliness… Yes, men and boys do sweat down there… yes it can get dirty… No, it’s not particularly nice… and in planetary regions that are arid, it kind of makes sense… If you live in a desert and water is too precious to waste… But if you live in a country that has access to running water at the turning of a tap it’s all so much BS. Teach your child to always ensure that area is cleaned thoroughly and the chance of infections is reduced… If things do go wrong, we have drugs that can help… To claim that mutilating a child will ensure cleanliness is also a lie, plain and simple… Chopping off a part of a persons body does not mean that the bit that is left will magically keep itself clean, we still need to wash it, it’s just that there is less bits to wash…

So, Religious reasons then… ~Legal here: Please be careful~ {I’ll do my best. But no promises}… Religious reasons… there are a few religions that require this mutilation… But consider where those reasons come from… the two major religions that regularly require this barbarous act were originally desert sects… So we return to the question of cleanliness… at least originally… Further research will also reveal that male genital mutilation was akin to scarification in other cultures… In other words, a way for early tribal societies to recognise each other or to easily identify another person’s social standing… admittedly, with our current cultural mores it does seem a bit ridiculous to expect a man to expose himself to prove his allegiance to a particular tribe or cultural/religious group but who are we to say what was acceptable to a bronze age culture?

I won’t go into detail about how I believe imposing a religion on a child is psychological abuse because that’s another argument altogether… I will say that claiming you must mutilate a child (remembering of course, usually with days of birth) so that that child will be part of the only true faith is heinous and cruel… OK, if the child reaches adulthood and wishes to have a ceremony that allows them to fully integrate into a religion then let them make that choice for themselves… But what happens to somebody that wishes to drop out of that religion? If the parent has mutilated that child then that mutilation will forever be a reminder of their lack of choice.

I won’t even go into the aesthetic(??) argument… Except to say that not one of my sexual partners has ever said to me that they prefer a croptop… many have said they prefer the original “design” but not the “improved” version….

And that is also, for me and many others, another argument against the act… Those religious groups that practice MGM claim that their Almighty Being is perfect… So perfect in fact that their greatest creation (humans of course) is in fact flawed… One day, the great invisible beard in the sky looked down upon his favourite creation and went: “Oh Shit! I forgot to take that little bit of skin off the end of the willy…  I’d better have a word with that lot and tell them to chop it off for me… Of course, as I am omnipotent I could just make it magically disappear and then alter everybody’s minds so that they don’t remember ever having it… But no, it’s easier to speak to the bloke wearing the sacred feathers who keeps the tribal history in his head to make him cut it off to prove that they love me enough to mutilate their own children…” or words to that effect…

~OK, I think you’ve said enough about this now. Don’t you?~

{Just one more thing…}

{OK, maybe not… I’ve certainly shared more than is probably appropriate already }

So shall we go onto Star Bores? I know that one or two of you still reading this will be surprised that I have now seen the latest instalment… and they will need a stiff drink when they discover that it was at my request…

Firstly I have to admit a couple of things… I have not always hated Star Wars… I pretty much do now, but when I was knee-high to a grasshopper I loved it… My favourite toys for many years were my Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan Kanobi figures… But things change, I grew older and George Lucas got greedy… First there were the Ewoks… Do I need to elaborate?  And then there were the 25th anniversary editions on VHS… I remember when my sister brought them home… we say and watched all three back to back… and I remember thinking “What happened to that scene?” “I don’t remember that happening.” “Surely that didn’t happen that way last time I saw this…” You see, Lucas had already started to rework the original films to “fix” continuity errors that he created and to appeal to a more pacifist (or rather anti-violence/criminal) element in the viewing public… Han DID shoot first FFS!… So even then I knew I would never see the original film ever again… The film that had got me playing with pretend light-sabers and walking like C3-PO was gone… And then it got worse! Because then came the enhanced versions… New CGI distractions in every shot and the contortionist Han Solo…

This is the only thing I am going to say about the prequels…. From what I remember about all three films (which is about maybe thirty minutes in total) they were shit, shit and more shit with added green screen.

So now we come to The Force Is Back (and please forget all that shit about midiclorians)….

I will try not to spoiler but something’s do need questioning… First… The balldroid.. BP8 or whatever it’s called… Did they have to make it “cute”? What am I thinking… of course they did… It needs to sell millions of toys…. of course it needed to be cute… But R2 was cute… and he didn’t have to do all that trembling behind the protagonist’s legs and doing bad cat impressions… He was cute because he was the unlikely hero… not because he was constantly cocking his head to one side and making “mewling noises”

Moving on… Fight scene… lot’s of laser blasts… Some bloke is having a crisis of conscience… More cute droid… Oh look, a bloke that looks a bit like an original Cylon (go on watch it, whenever a red light reflects in his face plate he looks like a Cylon) and now he’s taking his helmet off… how hideous will he… Oh he isn’t… And you couldn’t get Bendabit Cumbersnatch then JJ? Oh well, he looks a little bit like him… Oh that’s good, I like to see films that admit women are not “the weaker sex” and don’t need to be rescued… Hello what do we have here? A new Emperor? No it’s Supreme Being! or as I immediately referred to him: the Thanos/Mekon hybrid CGI exposition godhead thingy… Time for the cameos folks… Here’s the creaky old space pirate and his furry friend… and here’s his love interest from the first three films but now she’s more than a princess in need of rescue, she’s a general… A general that is so sure of herself that when a self-confessed member of the forces turns up and says “I’ve had a change of heart” she takes him at his word and allows him into top secret meetings… No debrief, not constant guard, no “Let’s check out his story” first, nope it’s straight into “Here, deserter, help us with our plans because we know absolutely nothing about you other than what you’ve told us and that isn’t much really but we trust you because we are the good guys…” Cue more fights, space battles, big twist and The Search For Spock sorry, Skywalker… Nice to see that the oldest Jedi temple is in Ireland though…

So that’s it… My rant is over… My essay beckons… My back hurts… and you need to try to find a way to get these lost minutes back…

 

As always, I’m not that bothered if you comment or not… Actually, I’m not that bothered if you’ve read this… Like I’ve said before, I write these things are for me…

 

Anyway, I’m going now….

 

Peace…

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One comment on “Yet another essay dodge…

  1. I can only apologise for the mutilation we inflicted on you but maybe what you don’t remember is all the infections you were getting up till that point, which is why the doctor recommended the op, your Dad had had the same problem as a child with the same result and we talked long and hard about the end result, taking into consideration the possible outcome of your eventual adult gratification and decided that scar tissue from ongoing infections would be much more harmful than what was eventually decided would be the best thing for you at the time. Again I’m sorry but maybe you should have talked to your Dad about this a long time ago and he would have explained why this was thought to be needed at the time. If you want to talk to me about it maybe I can clarify some things without you getting embarrassed……

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