Where do I start?

I’m afraid this is going to be another one of those stream of consciousness jobbies… You have been warned…

How’s that, I started this last night and then thought: better wait until tomorrow to do it justice… and now… nothing. Not a word…

It has been suggested that I do something political… Maybe something about how the current British Government are destroying the lives of ordinary hard working people and those that are in situations that make it impossible to work simply to feather the beds of their pay-masters in the city… I could do I suppose but I think there are a lot better political writers out there… besides I don’t think my writing style goes too well with politics…

I could write about my depression again but I think that would probably end with more than just me contemplating a trip to Beachy Head 🙂

I even considered a work of fiction…

[Please don’t. I cannot face the shame…] ~Nor could you afford the legal fees, Mr Hero ~

{Nice to get a vote of confidence from you guys} *hey i could write some stories* {No, I don’t think so} *oh please. i pwomise it will be funny and clever and not be all about giant robots or girls or anyfing like that. please. please. i won’t use naughty words, pwomice*

{Well, what do we think? Should we allow it?} [Can’t be any worse than your usual drivel 😉 ]

{Oh that’s nice…}

Ok, in the spirit of exploring myself… which I think my therapist may have suggested I do… I’m going to let my “inner child” write something…

*Sticky the Stickman goes to a Party.

a story by our herose inner child.

sticky the stickman got invited to a party but because it was at twiggy the stickmans house and sticky didn’t like twiggy he didn’t want to go

stickys mum said he has to go becaus all his friends will be there but, sticky said that twiggys house smelled of fartybums and, he wasn’t going

stickys mum didn’t like that so after washing his mouth out with soap she marched sticky to twiggys house. and made him go to the party

sticky sat in the corner and didn’t join in any of the games. twiggy showed off all his presents but sticky didn’t care. he wanted to go home. sticky was so bored that he started to play with matches. he new he wasn’t supposed to but by now sticky the stickman was so bored and angry at his mum and at twiggy and at twiggys stupid toys that he didn’t care.

sticky the stickman and twiggy the stickman and all the other stickboys because there were no stinky stickgirls at the party had a great time watching the firemen put mr and mrs twiggy stickman house out.

when the ambulance man had put a plaster on stickys burns and chopped off twiggys burnt leg sticky the stickman was allowed to home. he told his mum it was the best party ever!!!

sticky the stickmans mum made him go to bed without tea and told him he was a very naughty boy. but sticky didn’t care. all he wanted to do was dream about the matches and how pretty they looked flying towards twiggy.

thE EnD.*

{Is that it? Boy am I glad I’m seeing a therapist.} [So am I…]

I don’t think I’ll be doing that experiment again…

Mind you it did free up part of my mind… I chose to look at it as removing all that waste to make room for more interesting stuff. Please, allow me my delusion.

So yesterday, myself and Lone Support Angel went to the Pompeii and H* exhibit at the British Museum. Fifteen quid each for a ticket (luckily booked well in advance because it was completely sold out by the time we got there), an extra £5 for an “interactive guide” and it’s away we go… I can imagine the meeting held by the curators and marketing people when they were planning this event…

“OK so we are going to have one of the most anticipated events in years, with hundreds of people a day wanting to come. It will take approximately two hours to view. The space is big enough for about 150 people max. So how is the best way to do this?”

“I know, we’ll sell tickets in blocks of fifty and then let them in in ten minutes intervals (While allowing friends and members of the British Museum to just turn up and enter whenever they want) and then we will give them a twelve minute film about what they are here to see as soon as they enter. Oh and we will only put in enough seats for about twenty people. And don’t forget that the multimedia guide should only have what is already written on the little signs by the exhibits because we don’t want people to actually learn anything new.”

“Oh yeah, and we won’t have a maximum child to adult ratio.”

Yeah, yeah. I know. It sounds like I’m moaning. What am I saying? I am moaning. This is one of the world’s premier museums. It has a fantastic opportunity to display artifacts that have never been seen outside of Naples museum store room before. It has limited space. It should do better. The exhibits themselves were phenomenal, excellent and generally brilliant and most of the information was sufficient but I wouldn’t say it was a brilliant event. It was amusing to watch adults trying to explain the over abundance of priapus’ though 🙂 Overall the entire space felt disjointed and underused… the objects themselves were sometimes so badly positioned one had to either barge past people or just end up not being able to move for twenty minutes. The majority of the “interactive” pieces were placed in the wrong places i.e. where they would cause the most congestion.

And another thing… Do you really think you three year old is going to be that interested in calcified figs and writing tablets that now resemble a charcoal briquette? Did you honestly think you could bring your seven year old to this exhibition, that warns you does contain objects and images some people may find offensive, and not have them giggling at the little bronze man with the willy the size of a small car? Also, do you think it is entirely appropriate or helpful to stand next to a statue of Pan, tutting and complaining that this sort of thing should not be allowed. Yes, OK so he was shagging a goat, So what?! He’s half goat himself (actually, more than half if you think about it), surely it would be worse to show an image of him shagging a human female… Besides if you had actually listened to the audio guide you are so casually waving about, maybe you would have learned that it is our prejudices and social conventions that makes you view the statue the way you do…

So there you have it… that was our Lubbock Day…

What now?

Here, try this…

Arthur sat and stared at the notice board. First day at his new office. Maybe the start of something big, he thought. He had heard so many good things about this place. Just some paperwork to sign and then he could get started. He held his coffee cup between his hands, resting his elbows on the table. Quietly he murmured the company rules to himself.

  1. All employees will place their personal communication devices in the unsecured cabinets provided. If this results in the loss of employee’s property, this is in no way the responsibility of the company. If this means that the employee misses an urgent and or important communication this is the employee’s own fault.
  2. All employees are expected to be at their respective work station 10 – 15 minutes prior to their official start time. All employees are expected to stay and secure their workstations for at least 15 mins after their official end time. All employees are allotted 1 (one) hour unpaid lunch break. If employees wish to be relived from their respective work station for comfort breaks (inc. Physical Relief, Re-hydration or Nicotine Addiction control) two hours notice must be given to secure appropriate response from the management. This time must be repaid to the company at the end of every day, in addition to the fifteen minutes unpaid work already expected.
  3. Employees must never assume that a day off means exactly that. All employees are expected to wait by their domicile connected communication device in case of “emergency”. The company reserve the right to give no more than 10 (ten) minutes notice of “emergency” recall. If employee fails to abide by these requests for additional hours they should expect to be suitably repentant on their next scheduled work day. No reasons or excuses for failure to cover will be accepted or believed.
  4. Management reserve the right to treat each and every employee with contempt. Management reserve the right to dismiss any and all concerns raised by an employee. The management reserve the right….

Arthur stopped reading. Looking into his now empty coffee cup he shook his head. It was nice to see some honesty in the work-place. He thought, But this isn’t the place for me.

Leaving his cup on the table Arthur turned and walked calmly from the building. On to something big. He thought.

There, you weren’t expecting that, were you?

Don’t worry. I probably won’t force you to endure anything like that again. Though I must admit, as I try to sleep some nights, the same two (untold) stories do encircle my head…

Anyway… that’s it for now…

Peace xxXxx



3 comments on “Where do I start?

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